he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
