You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
