no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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