i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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