I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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