quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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