i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize