that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
