By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
