Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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