Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
and she was petting her beer can
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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