is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
