I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
