You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
