I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
