Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize