So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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