threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
