Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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