careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Say something about gay babies.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
