So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
