Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize