If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
