he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
