those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
