The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
