i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
