need another drink. this is the easiest way
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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