I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
