Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
