apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
