If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
