yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
