i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize