I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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