I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
