is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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