I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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