We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
