first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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