i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize