You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
