How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
