I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
