i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
