On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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