I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
