Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
