I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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