What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
