love makes seman taste better
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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