mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Quick, to the slutcave!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
