Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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