"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
