I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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