i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize