THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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