perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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