Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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