i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
