i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
