A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
