don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
