i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
