He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize