haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
