Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
