When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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