Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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