$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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