My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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